I Don't
by ColferPervertSoldier
Summary: Carson simply cannot stand by and let everyone push Kurt into accepting that proposal. So he steps in to do some damage control. Kurson one-shot. NOT BLAINE FRIENDLY.


**Inspired by a prompt on Tumblr. By the way, this one-shot is using the characterizations of Kurson from Unbreakable Bonds, but is not set in UB's universe. BLAINE UNFRIENDLY.**

Carson stared out the window of the car, watching the scenery going by and trying, for the thousandth time, to make himself believe that this wasn't real. That he wasn't about to do what he was about to do. That he didn't _have_ to do what he was about to do.

He thought back to two nights ago, when Kurt had come home in a funk from his date with Blaine. He had slumped down on the couch beside Carson, sighing and looking absolutely defeated, while Carson tried to appear casual, as though he certainly had not been watching out the window, waiting with bated breath for Kurt to come home safe and sound. He didn't trust Blaine as far as he could throw him, and, considering that the younger boy was about the size of a novelty jumping bean, that was certainly saying something. Especially not since he knew for a fact that Blaine had a proven history of not understanding what the word "no" meant.

"Something wrong, Kurtsie?" he asked, looking over at his brother and frowning with concern.

Kurt sighed and shrugged. "I'm fine, Carsey," he insisted, giving Carson a small smile.

"No you're not," said Carson, shaking his head. "You have the look on your face that you only get when you've either suffered a soul crushing disappointment or have been spending time with Bennigan. Come on, spill it. What did that hobbit ass do to you this time?"

"Well, it's... it's not something he's done, exactly," said Kurt slowly, looking uncomfortable as he picked at a loose thread on one of the decorative couch pillows. "More like.. like... something he's _going_ to do, but..."

"What?" Carson said sharply, his internal alarm bells going off like crazy. "What do you mean? Which body part do I need to cut off? Because I will."

"You're not going to like it," replied Kurt worriedly, which only served to alarm Carson more.

"Kurt, come on," he said, placing one arm over Kurt's shoulder and trying to sound calm. "I promise I won't freak out, just... just tell me, baby. Tell me what's got you looking like you missed out on a sale at the mall."

Kurt smiled a little, but sighed and rested his head against Carson's shoulder the way he always did when he was upset and needed comforting. "Promise you won't overreact?"

"I promise," Carson insisted, holding him closer and kissing his hair. "Now, spill."

Kurt took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Blaine's going to propose."

Carson felt the air around him being sucked away as he tried to take in what his twin had just said. "_WHAT?_"

"You promised you wouldn't overreact," Kurt said quickly.

"I know, I.. but... _propose_?" Carson shrieked. "_WHY?_ You literally just got back together with Frodo a day and a half ago, what the fuck?"

"Well, I don't entirely disagree with you," Kurt said solemnly, softly stroking Carson's hand to calm him down. "We're so young. I know I always dreamed of getting married, but not at nineteen. I really, _really_ don't want to be engaged. Not now."

"So tell him no!" said Carson.

"It's not that simple," said Kurt, biting his lip and looking worried. "I just... oh, I just know he's going to make it very hard to say no. Rachel let slip some of his plans without meaning to, and, just... Carsey, he's got like three show choirs lined up. So many people. And I think _Dad_ is even in on it, and I just... that's a lot of people to be humiliated in front of if I say no."

"But, Kurt, you have the right to refuse!" Carson insisted, trying very, very hard not to fly into a rage at the mere thought of anyone proposing to Kurt, let alone Blaine fucking Anderson. _He doesn't deserve him, damn it. He doesn't love him like... like I do..._

"I know, but I'm so afraid that I'm not going to be able to," Kurt said miserably. "Literally everyone is on his side. And, well... it usually gets ugly when I try to tell him no, or disappoint him in any way. I mean, look at what he did right after I moved away. And he still makes me feel like it was _my_ fault. I know it wasn't, but damn it, he has this way of just... ugh. I don't know. Everything's a mess. I don't _want_ to get engaged. Not right now, but..." He sighed and looked down at his hands. "I really love Blaine. I think. He has his faults, but he does make me feel connected, and safe, and loved. And I don't think I'm ever gonna find someone else who's going to make me feel like that."

He snuggled closer to Carson, wrapping his arms around his waist and burying his face in his chest. "What do I do, Carsey? I'm so bad at letting people down, I'm afraid I won't be able to refuse."

Carson didn't answer him at first. He was too busy trying to quell the tidal wave of emotions coursing through him at once. He was angry at Blaine, but more than that, he was sad. He was sad that his precious baby brother, his Kurtsie, the biggest treasure in Carson's life, thought so little of himself that he really thought he couldn't do any better than his cheating high school boyfriend.

_Doesn't he realize how wonderful he is? Doesn't he know that he doesn't have to settle for Bernie when there's so many men in the world who would be lucky to have him, and who would REALIZE that while they still did? I may not have liked him dating Adam, but at least Adam respected him and tried to love him. Doesn't Kurt know that there are many men like that out there for him?_

_Doesn't he know that I love him so much that I would do anything in the world to make him happy?_

He sat there, holding Kurt close for a while and brooding. He looked down at the beautiful man in his arms, wishing he had some kind of magic solution to offer him. It really fucking sucked seeing the person he loved most in this world suffering so much and being unable to do anything about it.

_God, I wish I could just turn down Billy's proposal myself and spare Kurt from being put in such a difficult situation._

Wait a minute...

"Kurt?" he said at last. "Kurtsie, if you promise not to freak out, and if you're ok with it, I think I have an idea."

* * *

The past two days had been busy for Carson. He felt like he'd been preparing for some kind of battle. Which, he thought, he kind of had been. It had taken a lot of convincing, but Kurt had finally agreed, although still a bit reluctantly, to let Carson take his place on the day of the proposal.

"You're not going to, like... beat him, or anything, are you?" he'd asked nervously as he relentlessly attacked Carson's hair with about half a dozen different products. Carson was just a bit distracted by the fact that Kurt looked really hot in Carson's clothes.

_Hoodies are definitely a good look on him. Then again, everything is a good look on him._

_"_Carson?" Kurt said when he received no answer.

"I promise nothing," Carson had replied.

"Carson!"

"Ok, ok," Carson sighed. "I promise, there will be no violence involved. I'll be the best you I can be. Do I really have to wear this suit, though?"

"Yes," answered Kurt, using his fingers to form his own signature swoosh in Carson's hair. "At least I made sure it was blue. Now, let me see your walk." He crossed the room and looked expectantly at Carson. Carson sighed and got up from the stool he had been sitting on, straightening his back out and beginning to walk toward Kurt in the way his twin had made him practice over and over.

"A little more graceful, Carsey," Kurt said with a smile. "Remember, swan. Not duck."

Carson rolled his eyes, but smiled to himself as he tried again. He was rewarded with a hug and a gentle kiss on the cheek from Kurt when he reached him, and he hugged his twin back tightly.

"Thank you for this," said Kurt, whispering in his ear.

"Hey," said Carson softly, rubbing at Kurt's back. "You know I would do anything for you. Even turn down a proposal from a hobbit."

Kurt giggled and kissed him again. "You're too much. And I love you for it. Now go, Dad is waiting in the car already."

So now Carson was sitting in the car beside his father, trying to quell his nervous stomach as he stared out the window. Frankly, he was a little surprised that his dad was so easily going along with this whole proposal thing, even practically pushing for Kurt to take Blaine back in the first place. Couldn't he see that there was no way in hell that Kurt was ready for this?

_He doesn't even realize he has the wrong twin right now_, he thought with a sigh. _What the hell, Dad?_

"Dad, you can stop it," he said with a sigh after his dad tried for the millionth time to pretend that they were only going to the airport. "I know you're driving me to my surprise proposal." He hoped his disdain for those words didn't come through too much in his tone. He didn't want to give the game away now.

"I should have known you knew," Burt replied. "You were the kid who planned his own surprise party for his tenth birthday."

Carson fought the urge to smile. He had helped Kurt plan that party. Or, more precisely, he had dutifully stayed by Kurt's side while Kurt gave him tasks to do. He had never cared how they celebrated their birthday, so long as Kurt was happy with it.

"That Justin Timberlake pinata was a perfect likeness," he said, proud of himself for coming up with a perfect Kurt answer.

"I wouldn't know," said Burt. "Are you ok?" he asked, after a moment of silence had gone by. "You look like I'm driving you to your execution."

_That's because you ARE, Dad. Or you would be, if Kurt were here. Don't you even care how he feels?_

"I can't tell," Carson said, choosing his words carefully. He wanted to sound like Kurt, but he also wanted to see just how far their dad was willing to go in order to back up this stupid proposal plan. Where would the point be where he figured out that this was harming Kurt? He thought back to his conversation with his twin from the other night, to the words that had broken Carson's heart to hear.

"I mean, I really love Blaine," he said, trying his best not to choke over the horrible words. "He makes me feel so connected, so safe, and loved. And I don't think I'm ever gonna find someone else who's gonna make me feel like that." _Bullshit_, he thought, biting his tongue to keep from saying it out loud. Surely this would wake his father up and make him realize that this was wrong. That no nineteen year old should feel that way, especially not someone wonderful like Kurt.

_Don't let him down, Dad._

"But we're both so young," he continued. _You wouldn't let him get engaged at his age, would you, Dad? Right?_

"Well," Burt replied as he turned down a street. "Your mom and I met when we were twenty-two. And I asked her to marry me six months in. _We_ were just kids."

_Are you FUCKING kidding me, Dad? Are you really going to bring Mom into this to guilt trip Kurt into going through with this?_ Carson was suddenly very grateful that his twin was not around to hear this. Kurt was already conflicted enough without this absolute bullshit.

"It was hard at first," Burt continued. "I mean, you go in with all these fantasies about what your life together is gonna be like. You know, nothing but laughing and dancing around in your underwear, cooking pasta. Sex. Lot of sex."

_Jesus fuck._

"It's hard being married, though," Burt said, pulling up outside of Dalton Academy and opening his car door as Carson opened his own. "It's hard enough being in your twenties."

"Do you wish you'd _waited_?" asked Carson pointedly, desperately hoping that his father would get a clue.

"Not one second more," replied Burt. "I wish I'd met her ten years earlier. I didn't know then that I was only gonna get so much time with her. You know? That she was gonna leave us so soon."

At this point, it was all Carson could do to keep from shaking with barely contained anger. He couldn't believe that his own father was so invested in this shit that he was actually using the twins' dead mother to justify it. He wanted to scream until his throat gave out. But he stood there in silence instead, listening to his father's speech getting worse by the second.

"I'd take fifty more years of late night fights about, you know, me working late, or the gas bill, or her letting the milk go bad, for just ten more minutes with her next to me," Burt continued. "We only get a few days when you come down to it, Kurt. You know that better than anyone."

Carson had no idea what to say. He wasn't sure he _could_ say anything without angrily breaking character, so he said nothing.

"Look," said Burt, crossing over to him. "Being totally honest here? Blaine asked me what I thought about this, and I gave him my opinion."

_I fucking bet he did_, thought Carson bitterly. _Everyone seems to be making decisions for and about Kurt lately EXCEPT Kurt._

"Which was?" he managed to get out.

"My opinion doesn't matter here," his father answered. "You're your own man now."

_Like hell your opinion doesn't matter! You're my- HIS- father! He is unhappy with this! I know I'm not him, but even *I* am fucking unhappy right now, in front of your face! Why aren't you doing anything about this?_

"Relax," said Burt. "Hear what the guy has to say. All you gotta do is say yes, no, or maybe."

"Is there _another_ option?" asked Carson in one last ditch effort to force his father to see reason. _Like, oh I don't know, DON'T MAKE ME...KURT...WHATEVER...DON'T MAKE HIM GO THROUGH THIS AT ALL._

Burt only laughed as the opening notes of a song blasted through the air from the direction of the school. Carson sighed and resigned himself to the fact that he was going to have to tell Blanderson where to shove his proposal. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

_Jesus Christ, Dalton fucking Academy of all places?_ he thought as he made his way toward the school doors. _This was NOT what Kurtsie had in mind all those years when he was planning this stuff. I'm pretty sure his ideal proposal would have involved a lot more flowers and starlight._

The doors opened before Carson reached them, and he wasn't quite sure what he had been expecting, but it sure as hell wasn't a giant, singing bottle of mustard in a bowtie. Well, it was Blaine, obviously, but he may as well have been a bottle of mustard in that hideous suit he was wearing as he began royally butchering one of the Beatles' finest.

_Oh my GOD_, thought Carson. _I don't know if Finn's magical grilled cheese sandwich actually possessed any god-like powers, but I think I'm going to need to call upon them to get me through this utter bullshit._

He barely managed to suppress his grimace of distaste as Blaine got right up in his face and sang to him. _Yeah, he's so in love he doesn't realize he's singing to the WRONG PERSON._ He allowed Blaine to lead him into the school, where Carson suddenly found himself being wrapped in hugs by Rachel, Mercedes, and...

_SANTANA? Fucking hell, is there ANYONE around here who isn't sucking Benny's dick and who actually cares about Kurt's feelings? ANYONE?_

Apparently not. Carson even caught a glimpse of Sebastian and a bunch of assorted Warblers dancing along to Blaine's horrific song. _Everyone has betrayed Kurt. EVERYONE. _He felt like he shook hands with or was hugged by half the fucking state of Ohio as he (mercifully) lost sight of Blaine, and Rachel led him to the top of an ornate staircase. Blaine re-appeared at the bottom, and Carson thanked every deity he didn't believe in that the song ended soon thereafter.

"We met right here," Blaine said as soon as the song ended, giving no time for anyone to catch a breath. "I took this man's hand, and we ran down that hallway," he continued. _Well, as if I didn't already hate you. _"And for those that know me, I'm not in the habit of taking people's hands I've never met before." _Nope, just their dicks. _"But I think that my soul knew something that my body and my mind didn't know yet. It knew that our hands were meant to hold each other's, fearlessly and forever."

Blaine started up the staircase, inching ever closer to Carson and making him ever more uncomfortable. He could only imagine the immense amount of pressure that Kurt would have felt had he been in this spot. The amount of pressure that Blaine clearly _wanted_ him to feel. The very thought made Carson's blood boil with rage.

"Which is why," Blaine went on, "it's never really felt like I've been getting to know you. It's always felt like I was remembering you from something. As if every lifetime you and I have lived, we've chosen to come back and find each other and fall in love all over again, over and over for all eternity. And I just feel so lucky that I found you so soon in _this_ lifetime, because all I want to do... all I've _ever_ wanted to do, is spend my life living you. So," he said, getting down on one knee and holding out a small ring box. "Kurt Hummel. My amazing friend, my one true love... will you marry me?"

Carson looked at Blaine's hopeful (and very punchable) face, and then out at his audience of hundreds, trying to think what Kurt would say in this situation. He knew his twin well enough to know that the pressure of so many people, many of whom were complete strangers, waiting with bated breath for his answer would have surely crushed any speck of resolve he may have had to say no.

_He calculated this_, he thought angrily. _He calculated every fucking bit of this. He got everyone on his side, including those who should have nothing but Kurt's best interests in mind, and he tried to make it impossible for Kurt to turn him down. _

_Well, guess what, Binx? Nobody fucking messes with my baby brother and gets away with it. NOBODY._

He felt himself snap then, his anger boiling over until he could no longer contain it. He prayed that Kurt would forgive him someday as he glared at Blaine.

"No," he said.

Silence reigned. Everybody gaped at him in shock, and Blaine frowned in confusion.

"Kurt, what do you mean, no?" he asked. "You can't possibly mean no."

Carson wanted to kick him in the balls right then and there, but he remembered his promise to Kurt that there would be no violence involved and caught himself just in time. _You're Kurt, remember? Be Kurt._

"Yes, Bi.._Blaine_. I assure you, I do, in fact, mean no," Carson said, trying to keep his voice even despite the rage he was feeling.

"But.." Blaine began.

"Yeah, I'm gonna stop you right there," Carson said sharply. "Tell me, Blaine, what was the point of all of this? Hmm?"

Blaine blinked at him. "I... Kurt, I wanted to ask you to marry me. I wanted to make a statement."

"You're making a statement, alright. You're saying "I'm a pushy jerk who couldn't give half a shit about the feelings of the man I claim to love so much," Carson said. "You do realize that K... that _I_ only _just_ took your cheating ass back not more than a week ago? Oh, that's right, does everybody here know that's why we broke up in the first place?" he added, looking around at everyone else, who were all staring at him in wide-eyed, open mouthed awe.

"I.."

"Shhh, Blaine, I'm not done talking," Carson said sweetly. "Yeah, Blaine here told me to go to New York to pursue my dreams, but then he couldn't last more than two weeks apart before he simply couldn't keep his dick in his pants a moment longer, and so he went looking for dick. On Facebook."

"He did _what_?" came Burt's voice from the crowd.

_He didn't KNOW? Jesus. Maybe now he'll do something._

"Oh, yeah," Carson confirmed, nodding as Blaine glared at him. "Yeah, he screwed a complete stranger. Oh, and wait, I haven't told you the best part. The best part is that _after_ he did that, he hopped the first flight over to New York to surprise me and tell me in person that he cheated. And then blamed me for it. What a guy! Wow! My soulmate!"

Everybody was beginning to look uncomfortable. Blaine was looking pissed, giving Carson death glares with every passing sentence. _Yeah, no, the day I let you put anything on my brother's finger is the day hell freezes over_.

"You cheated on my kid, Anderson?" Burt barked, pushing his way through the crowd toward the stairs. "Kurt, why didn't you tell me this before?"

_Good question._

"Yeah," Carson muttered bitterly. "And all of you are standing here kissing his ass like he's the second coming of Christ. Aren't some of you supposed to be my friends? Trollberry, didn't you _live_ with me when I was going through the breakup and was heartbroken? You saw all of that, and you're taking part in this?" he barked at Rachel. "And Dad, you're the _worst_," he continued, looking over at Burt. "You're his.. _my_ father! You can see I don't want this, and you... and you still..." He bit his lip, not wanting tears to be a part of this.

"Kurt, I..." Burt began.

"I never told you that he almost raped me outside a gay bar my senior year," replied Carson, knowing he was getting carried away now. "You didn't know that either, did you?" _Goddammit, Kurt is going to never forgive me, but god, people need to know how much of an asshole this guy is._

"He did _WHAT_?" Burt exclaimed, closing the remaining distance between himself and Blaine. "You need to get away from my son right now," he said, getting up in Blaine's face and knocking the ring out of his hand. "_Now."_

The next few minutes were a blur to Carson. He knew that Blaine slunk away in embarrassment, disappearing down a nearby hallway. He knew that Kurt's friends exchanged shocked and confused glances among themselves, and that his father kept trying to talk to him, but all he could think of was Kurt.

_Oh god, I completely blew this_, he thought miserably. _I blew it. I made a complete mess of this, and Kurt is going to be so mad at me, and I won't blame him one bit._

He wasn't looking forward to going home that night.

* * *

"Carson," Kurt said that night, his blue eyes staring intently into Carson's as Carson finished relating the whole tale. "Carsey, I'm not mad at you."

"You... you're not?" asked Carson, confused. "But... but I said all that shit to everyone, and.."

Kurt shook his head and got up from the bed, where he had been perched listening to Carson speak. "No," he repeated, crossing over to Carson and taking his hands in his. "I'm not even shocked, really. I knew this was a risk when I agreed to let you go in my place. I know you and how strongly you feel about these things."

"But then... why did you..." Carson stammered. "I don't understand."

"Well, I was kind of hoping you would do exactly what you did," said Kurt. "I knew you probably would, and I knew that it would be the only way _my_ voice would be heard in all this mess, since nobody was listening to me. You do know me so well."

"I do," agreed Carson. "I'm still sorry, though."

"Don't be," Kurt assured him.

"I am, though," said Carson. "I just... I love you so much, you have no idea..."

The next moment was so dream-like, he almost thought he'd imagined it. Kurt's face was getting closer and closer to his, and he wanted to keep talking, but no sound came out. And suddenly, there were lips touching his. Soft, feather-light lips that felt like little clouds.

_He's kissing me. Oh god, he's kissing me._

_My first kiss._

_Kurt._

_My first kiss and it's Kurt, and oh GOD._

And then it was over, and Kurt's eyes were looking into his again, and Carson didn't remember how to form words anymore, because _holy shit_.

"Kurt?" he managed to get out at last.

"I love you, too," said Kurt, reaching up one hand to softly cup his cheek. "I do."


End file.
